The nurse is on a short leave

It was a quick ride to the hospital tuesday by ambulance..Mike started feeling really terrible, and his body started shaking uncontrollably again with the rigors around 11:30 am. It just so happened that the visiting nurse was due to visit, and she came and checked his vitals, and quickly determined that we needed an ambulance, and needed to get to the ER quickly.

Apparently the iv antibiotics Mike was taking every 8 hours, had stopped working on the lesions on his liver. In fact the lesions were getting bigger. We spent tuesday in the critical care unit, while they monitored Mikes vitals which were dangerously spiking most of the day while his body fought the infection that is trying to kill him. They moved him around 4am to a regular room, which I was grateful for because they were wavering between a regular room, and the ICU.

We spent all of Wednesday in surgery and recovery. He had a drain inserted again to get the infection out, and they left it in to try to drain more infection. Of course, the question is where is the infection coming from. They suspect the tumor is invading his stomach, and the stomach is leaking contents and poisoning him. We don’t know how to resolve that, he can’t have chemo or any treatments right now, as he is literally fighting for his life. Our hope is that the antibiotics will be able to clear this up, and it will all resolve with no surgical intervention.

The pain is so severe right now, they are inserting a pain pump to try to get him through the next couple of days. Every time he moves the tubing stabs his rib cage, and it is so painful it takes his breath away. His son has been here with us for the last couple days, and that has been tremendous support for Mike. He is up with him right now, while I am at home paying bills, cleaning our house, answering customer emails, and doing what we all do who have to adult.
I have to have some surgery on Friday that cannot be delayed. Of course it is not a good time, it never is when you have a husband with a terminal diagnosis. I have called in the big dogs to help me get through the next couple of days. First and foremost is God. Secondly (and it is a close second) my mom is on her way from Kentucky to cover me here at home tomorrow. My brother in law Steve will be here today, and he will hang out with Mike at the hospital as I will be unavailable all day Friday. My cousin is taking me to my surgery, and a girlfriend has offered to send dinner to us Friday night.

We are literally taking things one day at a time, and trying not to think too far ahead. I have decided after meeting with a therapist, that I will try to let the doctors do the doctoring. I know this sounds funny, but I am a type A person, and I have some control issues. Everyone I say this to just laughs, apparently I was the last to know. It is really really hard to let go even though I am not a doctor, not a nurse, and I don’t even play one on tv. I want to help Mike so badly, but the therapist has assured me that I am an A++ caregiver, and it is ok to let the doctors do the doctoring. Mike lets me be me, but I have asked him to help me with this, and I am proud that I am not even googling right now. Well.. I am googling a little, but I can stop anytime I want to.

What can I say? I have always been an overachiever..

Anne

7 Comments

  1. Dearest Anne,
    While I certainly agree with your therapist that you are an extraordinary caregiver and partner with Mike in this fight, never underestimate how important your role is as observer, googler and advocate. You know Mike better than all the docs, you alone have observed all the symptoms, antecedents, effects, etc., and that knowledge is priceless! I am very glad to read that the cavalry has arrived to help, and I send all my love and strong, healing mountain energy to both you and Mike. I am also envisioning laying hands on Mike and psychically drawing the infection out of his body. Sending so many hugs your way.

  2. Dearest Anne….I would like to be a big dog also. What can I do to help? Love, Barb

  3. Anne — Sue & I want to help you & Mike. What can we do to assist you two? I already gave you our numbers – call us & we will do whatever you want to help out during this trial. We are praying.

  4. I have been praying for you all! Just know that if you need anything, call me. Best of luck with your surgery. Hugs to both of you!

  5. Its hard tl comprehend all you noth ate going through. Love and ptagers coming your way. Hang in there beautiful lady.

  6. Hugs and Prayers to you both. You’re always in my thoughts.

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