The long and winding road

He just wants to go home, sit on our patio, visit with friends, and hold my hand.

Mike hasn’t been able to eat in a few weeks now. He still has the infection, and the drain in his liver, and now the tumor has blocked the exit of his stomach again.

They went in last night and tried to place a stent between the tumor and his stomach, and when they passed the first obstruction they came up against a second one. They are going to try to do another feeding tube in the next couple days, but it is possible that Mike may go home with no way to get any nutrition. Obviously we have to get nutrition to live, and without being able to get it his time will be very short.

Even if they can get him some nutrition the tumor is a foot long, invading his organs and is very aggressive. He went from eating, to not being able to even digest his stomach contents all within 3 weeks.

Further cancer treatments aren’t really an option at this point, it is even possible that they would cause him more harm.

Mike told me today that he is sad that I never got to see the best of him.

I have seen a man who was diagnosed with a terminal illness, and still let his son move to another state to live with his mother, because that is what he wanted to do.

I have seen a man who went back to work at the job he loved way too early last year, because his short term disability payments were due to run out, and he needed to provide for our family, including my daughter.

I have seen a man who when told he may not have much time, has been more worried about what is going to happen to me when he is gone, than in his own self.

I have seen a man who has picked up the phone with courage to call his aunt, his son, and his siblings to give them all of this devastating news over and over again.

Last night, when Mikes sister and I were given the terrible news that they weren’t able to place the stent we were sitting bedside in recovery. Mike was still out. As he woke up, he heard me crying. He was still under anesthesia, and he said “why is my wife crying? I told him that I was sad. He still had his eyes closed, and he said to his sister “Donna, are you comforting Anne?”

How could there be a better man than this man?

Anne

28 Comments

  1. Heart is breaking for you both. No words, just love. Enjoy every minute.

  2. 😰 Anne, I am so sorry for all that y’all are going through. I wish I had some great words of wisdom but I don’t. Even though we haven’t met in person I think about y’all everyday. Continued prayers for healing, strength and peace. Take care friend.

  3. What a beautiful love you both share amidst such heartache… My prayers and thoughts are with you daily.

  4. It’s unfair that sometimes true love at its very best and purest is cut short by a failing physical body… the love endures forever, though. I hope for miracles and peace and love for your whole family.

  5. Anne, Sue and I would like to come and visit you two. You have our numbers. Give us a call if visiting is OK and location details. God Bless you both.

  6. You were both lucky to find each other at last, and my heart breaks for you both. I keep praying for a miracle but so wish I could be there to help in any way. Know you are in my thoughts and prayers, both of you. Hugs to you both.

  7. Anne, my mom forwarded your blog to me- I’m so sorry for all your family is going through. I haven’t been very close with my cousin but it is comforting to know how loved he has been by you and those near to him. Thinking of you both and wishing you peace. -Maureen

  8. This Is Love. This is why we know God exists. God Is Love. This love will never end.

  9. My heart is breaking for you. Prayers for peace and calm. I am truly sorry for the suffering you have endured. May God’s grace pour out on you.

  10. Mike and Anne,
    You are strong and an inspiration to us. We love you and praying for you.
    Uncle Tom and Aunt Pat

  11. Oh Anne, I’m so so sorry and wish I had some kind of words that would be comforting.

  12. Anne, I have been following yours and Mikes journey, having found you on Instagram when my dad was diagnosed with cholangiocarcinoma as well. As my dad did not last very long from diagnosis, my spirits have been lifted as I have watched Mike respond to treatment. I am so sorry about the turn of events. My heart goes out to both of you. Praying for you all. ❤️

    • Kristen, I am so sorry that you lost your dad to this terrible disease. thank you for reaching out.

  13. What a sweet couple you two are. Just keep loving each other. There are no guarantees in life and people who aren’t ill can be taken from us at any time. You two have a total appreciation for the precious time that so many of us sometimes take for granted. Thank you for the reminder. Sending your entire family our prayers, love and support.

  14. He sounds like a pretty amazing man to me! How lucky you both are to have each other. Will keep you both in my prayers!

  15. words can not express the hurt I feel for you both . I am glad you found each other .

  16. So heartbreaking. I wish you love courage & strength.

  17. You inspire me. Such strength and grace. Sending you continued strength and prayers and a good hug!

  18. We cannot find the words that express how we are feeling right now. Our hearts are breaking to even contemplate what you are going through. Please know that we are thinking of you and praying for you as you face this difficult journey. Wishing you peace and love.

  19. Anne, tell him you have seen the best and most precious part of him. Compassion, selflessness, love, caring, dedication, being a friend in the worst of times, etc. This is just so sad and my prayers are for comfort for you and the family.

  20. I am not even sure how I happened upon your blog, but you and Mike have truly touched my heart with your love and courage for each other. The strength you have shown can only inspire those who will surely follow in your path.

Comments are closed.