The Importance of Hope

We talked a lot with Dr Z on Friday about Hope. It is a tricky thing.. Cancer takes away hope.It starts to play games on you mentally.Every feeling you have, every symptom you start to think is a negative side effect.Unfortunately, it usually is a negative thing.Sometimes though, the news is GOOD! I am not sure which is worse, losing faith or losing hope. They are all so tied together.. I had faith God would take us through the fire, but I started to lose hope.What if Gods plan was different than what I hoped for.We talked a lot about not losing hope,and the power of positive thinking.I have always been positive.I have had a few signs in the last couple months that it was working,but not going to lie the stomach closing off was a real smack in the face.
Unfortunately, when you go into the fire you tend to isolate and all your focus is on the fire. Having our support system and people we love around us the last several days has reminded me of the importance of not isolating ourselves. It is hard because when your husband is ill, the last thing you want to do is socialize.
I think staying in the moment is crucial. I went to the mall for a gift yesterday,and it was the first time in months I had been out without worrying about getting home to Mike. His brother was here,and he has been stable this week and I felt comfy leaving him.It was so nice to be able to walk around the mall without worry.I stayed in the moment- I stopped to look at the things around me. I reminded myself of how lucky I am. I accepted an invitation to a wedding shower.
Getting the good news that Mike is getting better was a true miracle. It really is.Praise God.

Anne

2 Comments

  1. Thank you for this post, I stumbled on it by accident but was a much needed read as my daughter is going thru lynch syndrome cancer and well you know the rest………………………………

  2. Hi Cindy,
    Thank you so much for your comment. I will add you and your daughter to my prayers. It is hard sometimes to keep hope alive when we are looking at such a serious diagnosis. I try to stay in the moment.Literally.. sometimes I do it by the minute,sometimes by the hour, sometimes by the couple hours. I can honestly say though that cancer never leaves my brain for more than a couple hours. Hugs!Anne

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