The day the Volcano erupted

Mike had the feeding tube removed yesterday-yay! I caution you before you read the rest of this that it isn’t pretty. In fact, if you have never seen a horror movie on tv this post may prepare you for that. This is how the J-G feeding tube removal went.
We go in to IR department.It is technically called Interventional Radiology.I have always called it Investigational Radiology. My engineer husband finally corrected me last night.. I think I will just call it IR. They put us in a room,a nice lady comes in and says she is going to pull the tube out, please lift your shirt.No joke.. we were like um no local? No prep? Nope she has seen the CT Scan,and is going to pull it. Like a dummy, I sit there like they are going to put a band aid on a cut finger or something. So, she starts pulling the tube.. Mike is instantly in serious pain,and moaning. I am about to throw up. I mean, you havn’t lived until you see a tube being yanked out with guts,bile,and blood on it. I started to get dizzy,but counted to 10 and sat.Not sure I could have gotten up anyhow,as I was so nauseaus.She puts the tube on his stomach,which looks like the baby from the movie Alien sitting there.
That’s it she says. That is all. It will drain a little she says.. but in the next 48 hours it will start to close up,and be done in 10 days or so. We are relieved, they bandage up the hole and we prepare to leave.
That’s when the fun started. Mike stands up. The hole starts gushing,blood,bile,and what may have been a spoon gushes out all over the floor,the bed,Mikes clothes.Lay down, lay down.Help! I run out of the curtained room,to find a nurse.I like to imagine in these moments that i am like Goldy Hawn with my blond hair bouncing all over,but it is more like an elephant in glitter yelling help!She comes in,and this is when I really had to step out of the room,because it was like a freak show in there.
So, they rebandage.We wait another 45 minutes,and try again.This time we get outside the door and the guts start falling out again.At this point, I am thinking it is like a volcano erupting.You hear this gurgling sound coming from the stomach region,and then the eruption.In between all this stuff.. Mike is trying to get a good angle of the bandaged tube hole,so that he can post a picture on facebook.. We discuss making sure his nipple is covered,so as not to shock people.It is a fine nipple,but we don’t want to offend,or shock folks.Apparently we weren’t concerned about folks eating dinner while viewing the big bandaged covered volcano hole,but you get used to this stuff with cancer…
Back in,and the nice lady now takes one of those big diaper things that are blue on one side,and white on the other and they band it around his stomach and waist. Hey I have to get him home..He agrees to ride in a wheelchair to the parking garage,with me driving so you know he wasn’t feeling well. Of course we were parked the furthest place we could possibly be from where we were at that point. I mean we were on the roof!
He feels ok,well enough to critique my pushing of his wheelchair.. apparently I was not pushing at the speed he wanted,etc. This is why I don’t drive him in the car,but I digress.I did remember this time to back his wheelchair into the elevator so he was facing outwards,after the last time when he was left facing the wall while we rode down.Hey, I am not a nurse or Dr.I am in retail.lol
So, I get him home.We spend the evening relaxing,and laughing about the whole tube removal process.They told us to eat light,and he had a peanut butter and jelly sandwich for dinner.I had vodka.
By bed time we had changed the dressing on this hole in his stomach 5-6 more times..I started to be like a professional.Only gagging and retching 2 or 3 times at a time.. although I may never think of peanut butter again the same way,and I could have done without the regurgitation from the hole of the chocolate cake he insisted on having for dessert-just sayin!
The good news is.. the tube is out.We think the hole is smaller today,although he is still experiencing significant drainage as they say.I am just going to tell you this.. when the dr says something like “you may have some drainage” prepare for a flood.When they say “slight discomfort” prepare for pain so badly you will peel paint off the wall when you scream.
I am on to them now..

Anne

4 Comments

  1. You really should become a writer! So sorry you all have to go through this. Hopefully, it will be better now. Much love, Lynn

  2. Thanks for the laughs! Glad that sucker is outta there!

  3. Oh! My! Gosh! So glad you posted your experience as my hubby will getting his J-G tube out tomorrow, hopefully. I must admit that I actually laughed out loud at your expressive experience – I’m looking heavenward for potential lightening strikes!! LOL I’m very sorry your hubby has cancer. Sending prayers! You really should be a writer! :))

    • Hi Liz,
      It’s ok to laugh.. it really was something.lol Good luck to your husband tomorrow, tell him to give it 10 days or so to heal!Anne

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