Mike made the decision to stop going upstairs on Wednesday at night. It was getting too difficult to get up and down even with my help, and we started sleeping downstairs full time. Mike in his hospital bed, and me on the couch.
Things have gotten progressively worse the last several days, and after an incident where Mike passed out on me while I was pushing him into the bathroom in a rolling walker that had a seat on it, we realized he can no longer get out of bed. He has since had two more episodes of losing consciousness, one last night when we were trying to change the mattress on his bed to a more comfortable one. We are not sure if this is due to the blood loss that he continues to have, or if the tumor is pressing on an artery or something when he changes to a certain position.
We also made the decision that I wouldn’t be here taking care of him alone anymore. I grieve the loss of privacy, and alone time but the months of little sleep, stress, and the responsibility of taking care of him alone has started to take both an emotional and physical toll. I am so grateful for those who have helped us as we have joined together as one family to take care of Mike, and have been here with me as support. It’s been a relief to both Mike and I to have his siblings, and our friends here with us as we navigate through this horrific time.
It has been fun having sleepover parties with Mike in his hospital bed, me on the couch, and a friend or sibling on the blow up bed in our living room! Last night his life long friend Jeff stayed with us, and we cracked jokes and they reminisced late into the night.
Cancer likes to run rampant, and rampage lives, as if ravaging your body isn’t enough. Mike has fought like the warrior that he is, but his body is getting tired. He hasn’t complained even one time of the unfairness of this horrible disease, he is still Mike. Cracking us up with his jokes, making inappropriate comments to me that I love, reminiscing with us all, and displaying grace & dignity that has helped all of us to keep going.
As for me, Mike encouraged me months ago to get involved into a new business that would complement my current small business, and I have partnered with my sister to sell a fun comfortable clothing line called Lularoe. The timing may seem odd, but it is classic Mike. He has always encouraged me, always seen me as my best self, and I can do this at my own pace, and as I have time. He told me to lay the groundwork now, while he is here to see me smile, and I did as he asked.
As always, thank you for your love and support.
**Photo taken 10/15